Perhaps you’re nothing like me. You should only be so lucky,
because I can be an unthankful hassle to myself. I’m not trying to be pious or
beat myself up publicly; but I try very hard to be honest in my
self-assessments. It has been said that dishonest people are first dishonest
with themselves before they become dishonest with others; and one of the most
pervasive deceits this time of year is trying to convince ourselves and the
world around us that we’re thankful. I have no idea how thankful or unthankful
you are. I can only speak for myself.
I hope you’ll take a few minutes to reflect—ask yourself a couple tough questions and be friendly enough to yourself to be brutally honest. This is, in my opinion, the reason why America officially adopted the observance of the Thanksgiving holiday. I like food, football, and discounts, but if you’re not careful, these can distract you from the core of this special day. Are you living like a thankful person?
Use your imagination. Envision the hypothetical thankful
person in your mind. How does this person talk to others? How does this person
act during confrontation? Thankfulness is more than being happy that you’re
wealthier than 90% of the world and that you live in the most powerful country
in the world. Thankfulness is more than counting your blessings. While I think
this exercise has great value, there’s more to the puzzle. These exercises are
tools, which, if left in the drawer or on the workbench, have no value unless
they are used to mold and make something. After you’ve counted your blessings,
ask yourself how you ought to live differently in light of this.
Question #1: Does your thankfulness compel you to do good to
other people?
By definition, thankful people are convinced they have
plenty. The most important parts of my life were given to me without me earning
them. As a Christian, I believe these were given by my benevolent Creator. If
you believe nothing about God, you still have to be intellectually honest
enough to admit you are not responsible for your DNA being what it is. You did
not choose where you were born. You were not involved in bartering or competing
to eliminate mutations from your genome that could have caused you to be chronically
ill or disabled. You did not choose which inherent skills you have. These
things were there when you were born through no work of your own. These,
coupled with health, strength, love, passion, direction, and support are the most
valuable assets a human can possess. These are the foundation of human society.
You have them. With these gifts, you have hopefully found a way to earn other
gifts, such as food, shelter, clothing, and so much more; but none of it would
have been available to you without those foundational gifts that you did not
earn. If you have plenty, and your response is that you want more and you
demonstrate little or no interest in helping those who have less than you, you
are unthankful. If however, you have plenty, and as a result you feel compelled
to give to others freely the way God (or the mysterious cosmos for you
atheists) gave to you, you are most likely a thankful person. Of course, the
plot thickens, and many people do nice things for people for the wrong reasons,
like appeasing their violated conscience or trying to impress someone; but
these are outside the scope of this post.
Question #2: How much
of your mental time/energy is spent thinking about what you don’t have instead
of thinking about how to better enjoy what you already have?
That’s a long question, so go back and read it again. I’ll
wait. I've noticed a funny thing about unthankful people—they often have a TON
OF STUFF. Not only stuff, but they are signed up for all the cool services and
conveniences. They have “it all” (whatever that is) and yet they are
painstakingly seeking more. And by “they” I mean me. I’ll try not to hide
behind the infamous “they.” And to be
clear, by “funny,” I mean a little sad and pathetic. It’s sad that someone that
has so many things doesn't take the time or put in the effort to really enjoy
what he has. For instance, I have a video camera. It spends most of its time
sitting in a drawer. It gets lonely. It hates my iPad. Do I need a new video
camera? My ego says yes. My wife says no. Just kidding. I say no too. We always
agree. That’s a lie. But seriously, maybe before I go wasting my money on a new
toy, I should start learning how to take really cool videos. Maybe I should
spend some time and energy learning how to edit videos and add voice-overs so
my videos reach a new level of awesome. Here’s another one: how about I spend a
bunch of money on some exercise equipment? Because, as you all know, purchasing
exercise equipment just magically sculpts your body. That’s what the
commercials said. A better idea is to start working out with free or
inexpensive things to see if I’m disciplined enough to stick to a long-term
workout commitment.
Ungrateful people stockpile stuff into their castles and let it sit there, unused and unappreciated. If you’re doing this, quit it.
Ungrateful people stockpile stuff into their castles and let it sit there, unused and unappreciated. If you’re doing this, quit it.
So you've asked yourself two tough questions. You’re coming
to a conclusion about how thankful you are. If you feel you need to make some
adjustments, write them down and start tomorrow. I’m not a weirdo, but I think
our mind has a powerful ability to move toward a goal. Set a goal by
visualizing yourself as the thankful person you want to be. Write down some
details about what that person would do tomorrow and what it wouldn't do. Go
for it.
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