10 Reasons My Wife Works Harder Than Me

It's been almost a year now.

In October 2013 my wife quit her "desk job" to start her "mom job." At first glance, it would seem this would free up some time and make her life easier.

Yes, well, we are both very happy that she can spend more time with our children during the day. And since we have an infant that has a strong distaste for sleeping between 10 pm and 6 am, she is particularly happy to be able to take naps during the day.

Yes, that's right. I slave away all day at work so my wife can sit at home, take naps, and go shopping.

Just two things:

1. If I truly thought this, I should be slapped--in the face.

2. It's not true.

I mean, some of it's true. I do work at work. And she does take naps at home. And she also shops (mostly for groceries, which I don't consider to be leisure).



But the truth of the matter is that her "mom job" is more work than my job. Here's why:

1. My coworkers take themselves to the bathroom. 

My wife's job requires escort service to the restroom and certain post-excrement cleaning procedures.

2. None of my colleagues have vomited or defecated on me--yet.

This occurs regularly where my wife works.

3. There are moments of silence at my workplace. 

My wife's work environment is a constant barrage of sounds, mostly coming from the mouth of one three-year old.

4. I work 8-10 hours per day. My wife works 18-20 hours.

You see, she's on call. And it seems like every night (because it is) she's getting called into work. Typically it's for a caloric distribution to her smallest client.

5. Food doesn't prepare itself, and kitchens get dirty.

I realize many guys cook. I don't have that gift. I make myself cereal in the morning, and I can put together a sandwich.

Almost every day, day after day, my wife gleefully makes delicious meals and renders the kitchen spotlessly clean afterward (I am only mildly exaggerating.)

6. Because Wal-Mart.

At her job, she goes to Wal-Mart to stock the house. At my job, I never, ever go there. Ever.

7. Education is not easy.

At my job, I am periodically asked to teach someone something that I know about. It happens, but it's rare.

My wife teaches words, sounds, letters, numbers, tact, speech patterns, kindness, love, forgiveness, and all other principles of life--all day, every day.

8. Laundry and bathrooms are not exempt from entropy.

Entropy - the tendency of all things to become disordered

My job has timelines and projects. We complete a project and move on to the next. There are very few things that require constant attention.

My wife's job has several tasks that are, shall we say, endless; bottomless; eternal. No matter how hard she works, she can never finish or even get ahead. 

That sounds hard.

9. My job has vacation time.

My wife's new job gives her zero vacation time. And when she's sick, she has to perform all her responsibilities. Doesn't seem fair.

10. She's married to me.

As much as I try to help her, I also need her. I am often the one asking her to do something for me. Yes, I do things for her too; so don't think I'm a jerk. But if we were to keep a tab, she does more for me.

Conclusion:

I'm convinced my wife's job is harder than mine. No, I don't think she "quit working" a year ago. I think she got promoted to a very important and difficult position. 

The value she adds is immeasurable and eternal.

Image credit:
Working mom cartoon image from http://thescooponbalance.com/exposing-lies-moms-believe-part-9-a-good-mom-is-a-great-homemaker/

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